Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
