false alarm. still invincible.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
