even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
