This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize