Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
