I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
