We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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