No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
