Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Got a toothbrush?

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  (734): Got a toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/c7ae
  Replies (7) Good night (2267) Bad night (1166)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!

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  (313): lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club (810): I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds (810): Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies! http://tfl.nu/l421
  Replies (5) Good night (1578) Bad night (737)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Experience is the best teacher

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  (810): You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish (248): Experience is the best teacher http://tfl.nu/l23g
  Replies (2) Good night (1849) Bad night (795)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.

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  (712): The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place. http://tfl.nu/0x49
  Replies (39) Good night (971) Bad night (6995)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much

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  (248): today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much http://tfl.nu/3dmn
  Replies (26) Good night (10654) Bad night (1292)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?

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  (416): Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time? http://tfl.nu/chq4
  Replies (12) Good night (1046) Bad night (2956)
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  (408): View more from California

  I miss the smell of you or some shit.

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  (408): I miss the smell of you or some shit. http://tfl.nu/h6lu
  Replies (23) Good night (3123) Bad night (1386)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.

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  (705): Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences. http://tfl.nu/318s
  Replies (2) Good night (2349) Bad night (893)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.

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  (312): Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on. http://tfl.nu/knov
  Replies (3) Good night (1385) Bad night (660)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel

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  (309): he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel http://tfl.nu/08pr
  Replies (8) Good night (1354) Bad night (544)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun

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  (716): I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun http://tfl.nu/488y
  Replies (0) Good night (906) Bad night (365)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.

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  (330): apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast. http://tfl.nu/hvsr
  Replies (5) Good night (1039) Bad night (409)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."

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  (571): I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar." http://tfl.nu/n1ur
  Replies (4) Good night (516) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.

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  (413): Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten. http://tfl.nu/8dnp
  Replies (0) Good night (305) Bad night (120)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.

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  (415): The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese. http://tfl.nu/s07p
  Replies (0) Good night (14) Bad night (6)

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