Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?

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  (321): My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money? http://tfl.nu/139x
  Replies (10) Good night (552) Bad night (1118)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.

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  (410): i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations. http://tfl.nu/0kby
  Replies (10) Good night (3229) Bad night (617)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.

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  (616): it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/ij8w
  Replies (15) Good night (840) Bad night (4436)
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  (310): View more from California

  Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta

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  (310): Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta http://tfl.nu/zeqg
  Replies (86) Good night (3123) Bad night (919)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.

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  (913): Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns. http://tfl.nu/zzio
  Replies (33) Good night (1257) Bad night (3306)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.

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  (204): Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now. http://tfl.nu/lhag
  Replies (41) Good night (1466) Bad night (6114)
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  (347): View more from New York

  It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.

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  (347): It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency. http://tfl.nu/gkum
  Replies (8) Good night (2092) Bad night (908)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.

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  (773): I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her. http://tfl.nu/gidh
  Replies (5) Good night (873) Bad night (1796)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.

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  (513): I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem. http://tfl.nu/o14u
  Replies (6) Good night (929) Bad night (1895)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.

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  (617): Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it. http://tfl.nu/o2t5
  Replies (8) Good night (1563) Bad night (1137)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her

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  (319): Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her http://tfl.nu/ievl
  Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (2219)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime

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  (902): I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime http://tfl.nu/b6xy
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (280)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.

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  (610): Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow. http://tfl.nu/yt6q
  Replies (0) Good night (474) Bad night (275)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  $5. Donated.

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  (314): Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate. (636): $5. Donated. http://tfl.nu/smvj
  Replies (0) Good night (734) Bad night (268)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.

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  (913): I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it. http://tfl.nu/jhg3
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (195)

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