Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside

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  (864): just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside http://tfl.nu/pna6
  Replies (82) Good night (8261) Bad night (761)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere

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  (908): it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere http://tfl.nu/0cj1
  Replies (17) Good night (6754) Bad night (1077)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the problem with open bar is i never know what to get

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."

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  (203): the problem with open bar is i never know what to get (781): did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..." http://tfl.nu/knqb
  Replies (10) Good night (5929) Bad night (1275)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.

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  (765): He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something. http://tfl.nu/5hhc
  Replies (16) Good night (4643) Bad night (1980)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.

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  (905): If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too. http://tfl.nu/2teh
  Replies (21) Good night (1187) Bad night (4353)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.

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  (815): i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing. http://tfl.nu/zu31
  Replies (5) Good night (4026) Bad night (833)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."

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  (248): There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding." http://tfl.nu/ytsu
  Replies (5) Good night (1827) Bad night (1188)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.

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  (952): You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning. http://tfl.nu/mwji
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (1471)
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  (619): View more from California

  I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands

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  (619): I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands http://tfl.nu/vlc3
  Replies (4) Good night (1532) Bad night (503)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now

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  (303): Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now http://tfl.nu/ssv3
  Replies (5) Good night (620) Bad night (938)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out

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  (609): So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out http://tfl.nu/p08d
  Replies (12) Good night (1321) Bad night (543)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?

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  (859): Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut? http://tfl.nu/nfyo
  Replies (13) Good night (743) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth

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  (775): I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth http://tfl.nu/2n2k
  Replies (1) Good night (321) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"

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  (630): At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!" http://tfl.nu/yo6b
  Replies (3) Good night (976) Bad night (316)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship

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  (414): it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship http://tfl.nu/ya21
  Replies (1) Good night (473) Bad night (279)

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