She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works