If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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