I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.