Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids

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(+02): View more from

Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies

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(313): View more from Michigan

I wish costco sold astroglide.

(248): View more from Michigan

i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.

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(904): View more from Florida

Champagne is a vitamin, right?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(302): View more from Delaware

She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry

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(815): View more from Illinois

I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.

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(407): View more from Florida

I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"

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(903): View more from Texas

I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.

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