yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
