Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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