the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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