you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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