we have officially lost it.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
