I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
