I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
