we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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