my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
