A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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