I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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