Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
