Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize