i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
