well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
