I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
