Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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