I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
