I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
