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• (352): View more from Florida

  Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish

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• (905): View more from Toronto

  FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.

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• (760): View more from California

  He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.

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• (661): View more from California

  Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.

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• (646): View more from New York

  lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.

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