"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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