I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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