I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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