so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize