i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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