I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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