Soap is not a condiment
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
