he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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