Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
