the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
