You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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