Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
