Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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