He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
