Swine flu. Run for my life!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
