I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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