he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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