Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
