He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
