i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
