Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
