I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
