VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
