Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
