I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We got so high we made milksteak
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
