Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
