pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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