Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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