Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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