i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
