come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
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How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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