Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
