I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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